We said yes

Six months ago, we said yes to this precious face ... this beautiful child of God that needed a family as much as we needed her. We said yes as God laid adoption on our hearts, we obeyed out of love because we knew it was what He wanted. With His strength alone, we said yes as we stepped completely out of our comfort zones and traveled halfway across the world to bring her home. It was probably the most difficult thing we have ever done ... leaving 2 of our kiddos behind to bring the 3rd home. But just as Jesus teaches that the shepherd leaves his 99 behind to go find the one missing sheep, so did we. Adoption is such a beautiful thing.

"And every single day, it is worth it, because adoption is God's heart. His word says, 'In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will' (Ephesians 1:5). He sets the lonely in families (see Psalm 68:6). The first word that appears when I look up adoption in the dictionary is 'acceptance.' God accepts me, adores me even, just as I am. And He wants me to accept those without families into my own. Adoption is the reason I can come before God's throne and beg Him for mercy, because He predestined me to be adopted as His child through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will - to the praise of His glorious grace." (excerpt from Katie Davis, "Kisses from Katie," p.72-73)

But adoption is hard. HARD. Anyone who tells you otherwise is not being honest with themselves. I read once that you cannot be in love with the idea of adoption to succeed, that you truly need to be in love with parenting instead. I think this is so true, but would also add that you need to be committed to God's heart for adoption. In the midst of the sleep deprivation and temper tantrums of the first couple months home, there were many times when I wondered if things would get better and return to some semblance of normal. We struggled a lot, but we had committed to love this precious child and we knew God would get us through. I prayed more than I ever had in my whole life ... I prayed hard ... mostly for patience, compassion and more grace. I also prayed with a thankful heart ... thankful that God brought Sunshine to our family and thankful that she was ours to love. During those tough times, I was always at peace with where we were because I *knew* that it was exactly where God wanted us. And I was also (and still am) incredibly thankful that God loves adoption. So much that He has adopted us into His own heavenly family. I sometimes wonder how much more difficult adoption is for God than us here on Earth, when we are the ones constantly turning away and being difficult to love.

And in fact, in some ways I was joyful that we were going through a rough time. Not because I enjoyed the difficulty of all the changes, but because it forced us to rely on God. Rely on Him completely. To get us through such a crazy time, a time in which we had absolutely no control. I mean, have you ever truly relied on God? 100%? Most of us don't ... we may think we do, but we don't. In today's society, we rely on ourselves for everything. So I was even more at peace knowing that not only were we exactly where we were supposed to be, but that we were also relying on God to bring us through it. It was just as much amazing as it was difficult. We said yes, obeyed, and were relying on God to make it all work. And He did.

I can say that with complete confidence today because we are 6 months down the road. Six months of saying "yes" to God's will for us. Six months of adopting, parenting and loving one of God's precious little children that we now have the honor of calling our own. We have not been perfect parents to her, probably not even close. We have made mistakes, lots of them I'm sure, but God loves us anyway. And we love her, unconditionally forever. I love her so much that sometimes I squeeze her a little too hard or hold her a little longer than she wants. The mother's heart God has grown in me for Sunshine is incredible, amazing, indescribable. I can say, 6 months later, that I am madly in love with this girl.

Life is still not "easy" ... having 3 kids is not "easy," biological or adopted. Among all of the normal stuff of life, we have thrown in multiple surgeries, more doctor's appointments than I can count, physical therapy and soon speech therapy and occupational therapy. I am a brand new "therapist" almost everyday, a job I wasn't prepared for. On top of that, we had to adapt to being a family of 5, all of us. We had to make decisions based on adoption attachment, not always knowing what the right answer was. All for one little girl. One precious baby girl that God called us to love. We have ignored our friends and family on many occasions, simply because we were so physically and emotionally drained. DH and I have not been out on a real date in 6 months (save the 2 times that we snuck out while my mom "babysat" after Sunshine was already asleep). If you knew our family pre-adoption, you would know that the no-date thing has been a very big change for us. But we still are so happy that we said "yes" ... yes to all of the craziness we now call our life. Yes to being the parents of 3 incredible, miraculous kids who teach us more about ourselves every day. Yes to our amazing God, who adopted us into His family and loves us unconditionally, no matter how much we do wrong and run away from Him.

I still am in awe, in some ways, that God trusted US to be responsible for Sunshine, here on Earth, in this life. That He trusted us enough to raise her, love her, train her, and send her out into the world. What an honor. What a privilege it is to be parents to all THREE of our children. I can't imagine having not followed God's calling for our lives. Sunshine's adoption has strengthened my faith immeasurably as I've had to rely on God alone. It has strengthened my entire family's understanding of what it means to be one of God's children. Angel and Lovebug have been changed and molded more than I thought possible, in the best way I could ever ask for. I think in the ultimate way, they have learned first hand, what God's love is all about.

So today, we celebrate Sunshine's 6-month Gotcha Day anniversary. But I also think we celebrate so much more ... we celebrate an amazing God who loves us so much that He sent His only Son to live a perfect life here on Earth, and then die for us, so that we may be adopted into His family and have eternal life. Whether it be adoption or another special calling, God has a plan for YOU. He has a plan for all of us. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'" (Jeremiah 29:11).

Happy 6-Month Gotcha Day, Sunshine, we love you to the moon and back!